and in the beginning ...

hi
hope this thing finds you in good help and with no weight in your heart , there is nothing really special about this blog but I am going to use it to just write down my feelings and whatnot about alot of things , I am not going to promote this blog at all and it has nothing really to do with folkartlullaby or my music directy , but just about day to day life and all the shit that has been boiling up in my head , I am not going to call anyone by name here either , and just to throw anyone that would actually give a fuck about this thing , or about me or anything for that matter .

so here we go again ,

its 2:46 a.m. on the first saturday of my vacation , in the year 2008 and man , I am feeling fucking down , like suicidal down and have been feeling that way for a long time now, I don't really feel like I fit anywhere at all , like I have no life of my own or no way to judge it . you might think that I am a cry baby and I have nothing to feel sad or depressed about but you are wrong , dead wrong , you can't see in my head and you don't know whats going on in there .

As a sidenote , I know I'm not crazy , I may not have a thick skin like it seems that most people have or I wouldn't do alot of the shitty things that alot of people do , I may worry alot about things too but you know maybe I actually care about things , I don't know maybe I am crazy ,

it would make things so much easier , now wouldn't

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so lets take stock of my life as of this moment .

I have a beautiful finace that loves me very much
I have a job
I have a cd out right now
I am talented in other things then work and have alot of intrests that I am good at

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this is gonna be continued sometime soon i just can't write in out right now , i'm still to close to it

pray for me
Boobie